Those Brown Eyes
by Emom
Summary: Roy and Johnny are on vacation when an accident seeks to claim a life. How does one of them say goodbye?


Those Brown Eyes

_These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home._

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AN: Please don't kill me on grammar fixes with this one. This is a first person mind process and we don't always think in complete thoughts or sentences.

This is my first attempt at _this type_ of story. Please let me know what you think.

Warning: some might need to enter this with a kleenex.

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"_Our mind thinks of death,  
Our heart thinks of life,  
Our soul thinks of Immortality."  
Sri Chinmoy_

I don't want to open my eyes; God my head hurts so bad. Reaching up I feel something warm and sticky and know instantly that this is not a good sign as I feel the tender gash on the side of my head. Trying to remember where I am I slowly force my eyes open and find myself looking at blue sky on one side and a giant rock on the other. But as my eyes track it I find it's much more than a giant rock, it's a ragged cliff wall. Again I close my eyes trying to remember what happened but also to make the world stop spinning. I can't focus well on anything I know that much. The screaming pain wants my attention first.

I mentally think about where I'm hurting. Head, established that one right from the start and the large cut on the side of my forehead. I reach up again and feel the raw skin scrap that is along the side of my face. A layer gone at least since touching it only seems to make it burn more.

Man my stomach hurts. I orient enough to find that I'm kinda on my side. Sure that doesn't help any. However, the thought of moving makes my hurting belly seem trivial for the moment. Keep going, yes, focus on what works and what doesn't. Okay, right arm works since it checked my head. Left one? Ahh…crap, nope, broken. Humorous I think but can't see it to be sure. Okay next legs. Feel my toes. That's a good sign for my back although its killing me right now but at least I feel my toes. Oww….another failed test, damn it. Right leg broken but feels wet on my pants leg. I reach down and feel the bone and the blood. Open fracture, how much is this gonna get?

Back to what is screaming the loudest, my stomach. It's really hurting now but my chest is also tight. It's hard to breath, maybe cause of how I'm lying? Not sure but also can't think about repositioning. Need help. If I shift just a little, inch my hips

……OH GOD……

I open my eyes again, how much time passed? Sky is still blue. What was I doing? Oh yea, tried to move hips, bad decision. I'm pretty sure my pelvis is fractured. I try to look up again. Did someone call my name? Please …help me. My lips moved but I'm not sure any sound came out.

Noise from above is drowned out by the crashing of the waves on the rocks below. Middle, I must be towards the middle of the rocky cliff wall. I slid down a long way before free falling. Odd sensation free falling. Almost like slow motion in a movie. Worse part is you know what's coming and that you're not going to like it. I smile. My partner would probably like the feeling.

Is he here? Yes, he has to be but what happened? The Rover had run hot. I remember the steam and warning him to not get burned but then something was coming towards us. I could see it but he couldn't. Pushed him out of the way. Was he hurt? I can't get to him or help. What if he's hurt too? God please let him be alright.

I find myself waking up again. Keep going out. Concussion? Blood loss. I have lots of places to be bleeding from but can't do anything about it. What? Is someone calling my name? Taking a deep breath only makes me cough which sends nothing but blinding pain throughout my entire body. I called to him I think. I'm not sure how much sound came out though. Too much pain. I want to stay consc…

Something falling on my face wakes me up once again. Ouch. Dirt and little rocks pelt me in the face, makes taking a breath hard. I realize that nothing attached to me seems to work. It's almost impossible to move anymore. Pain is more of a dull throbbing now. I think that's a good thing. But maybe not. No longer sure.

I get the sensation I'm sliding some. Sliding? For the first time through all this panic hits me. Out of here is straight up, so if I'm sliding then it's going down. Don't wanna go down. My good hand grasps out and finds a tree root. My tiny amount of sliding has stopped. For now. But the rocks coming from above haven't. But at least my arm moved but the driving pain overtakes me once again.

This time I heard him as I open my eyes back up. Thank God he's okay. I hear him calling my name over and over. He'll be here soon. Give us rescue men some rope and a carabineer clip and we are good to go. My mind starts searching the supplies in the truck, yea pretty sure there was rope there. Even if no clip he could do it. He just has to get me up top. Somehow. But I now begin to wonder how. He can't do it alone and I can't help any. Suddenly this isn't looking too good.

The pain is numbing my senses. I can hear him but he still seems so far away. I tried to look up again. Sliding some actually gave me a better view. I can see him working his way down freehand. Freehand? What the hell is he doing?

Shallow breaths…shallow breaths….I call out his name. I can hear him calling to me those reassuring words of our job. Yes, I know to stay calm. Yes, I know he is going to get me out of this, or at least try. No, moving is not a problem here. I am staying put. He's getting closer. More dust in my face, oh man I'm gonna start coughing again.

Ahhggg….pain.

My chest feels like a dish rag, almost floppy. Come on partner, a little closer. I close my eyes for just a minute. Just one minute.

My eyes open this time to his face as I hear him call my name, forcing me back to consciousness. Those huge brown eyes stare with me reflected in them. "Jun...ior," I manage to get out. By the way he's looking at me I must look like crap. "Bad?" I take note that he doesn't answer me. Also not a good sign. But I already know, as does he.

I feel him pushing my hair from my face and the dust from my cheeks with a tenderness and compassion that made me feel sad inside. I try more words, but they are so hard to get out. He tells me to stop talking. I wonder if I'm saying anything? I hear it in my brain but not sure anymore.

Says help is on the way.

He leans over me and I see him taking his shirt off, ripping it up. This is odd to me but nothing seems 'right' when I think about it. He lifts up my head to wrap the strips of material around my wound which makes my stomach lurch. I heave. I know he's holding my head but the sudden onslaught of pain brings back the darkness.

I hear his voice calling me back. Out of reflex my eyes glance sideways looking for boxes then realize we are on vacation, fishing. No boxes. First aid kit? Don't laugh, will hurt too much.

"Why did you do that Roy?"

Tears are running down his face as he struggles to make me more comfortable but his eyes show that every movement forces me to fight back the peaceful nothingness that calls me.

He asks the question again and I slowly come to understand that he's asking me. Do what? I try to ask with my eyes, no breath to talk anymore.

"You saw that car coming didn't you? Pushed me out of the way."

Yes, car was coming and he was between the Rover and the cliff edge. I couldn't just watch it happen. I wouldn't.

"I thought you went all the way to the bottom with the Rover."

Bottom? The Rover is gone? A part of me grieves for that boxy hunk of junk knowing how much my best friend loved it. "Pain." I whisper as another surge of it racks my battered and broken body. I feel his arms holding me as they support my head. For the first time I realize what his eyes are reflecting.

"I'm sorry I don't have anything to give you Pally."

He's terrified. Those eyes are speaking volumes. Our years as partners. The many scrapes that we managed to get each other out of, defying the endless stream of odds that seemed against us. He is my best friend, my brother and now look at me. This is how it ends, out here in the middle of nowhere.

"Last…venture" I tell him. I think this will be our last camping trip together. I'm so grateful now that it had been a good one too, great weather, lots of fish, no crazy happenings. Just relaxing and time to talk as friends. His tears hit my face and he wipes them away but I don't mind them. They tell me so much.

"Don't say that Roy. This is just one to write down in the books of our escapades. You know as soon as we publish that thing we could probably retire early." His eyes softened at me. "Help is coming, please don't give up. You can't leave Joanne and the kids."

Jo and the kids. Why hadn't I thought of them? Guilt hits me now but it's because I spent so much time and energy not thinking about leaving them alone. I somehow pictured it being in a blazing fire on a dark night. Not like this.

"Cold." I'm so cold and I feel him move closer to me which makes me cry out in pain. I'm sorry Johnny. I didn't mean to scare you. His face has always been a map to his very soul telling me so much over these years.

Those brown eyes again, they don't leave mine. He won't say goodbye. I know he won't but then I don't want to either. Help is coming. Maybe I can hold on a little longer. "Jun...ior." It's my private word for him at the station and at home. I wonder if he ever realized that it reflected how important he was too me. Yes. Those eyes tell me so. I would do anything to take this hurt away from him right now. Including the hurt that I know will haunt him in the days and months to come.

"You're going to be fine Roy. Just fine." He's fumbling for words, choking on his fought back sobs. I know him too well and also that he can see what I feel.

The pain is almost gone now I want to tell him. My body is numb and somehow it no longer feels attached to me. I only feel one thing, him holding me safe. "Not…this…time." He leans down and puts his head next to mine as my own tears run down the sides of my face. I wish I could take that pain away.

Funny, I don't hear the sounds of the waves anymore.

"Jo," I only hoped he could hear my soft as air whisper.

He looked back up at me. Those eyes full of grief, emptiness and an ocean of sorrow. "I'll take care of her and the kids don't worry about them." He was shaking as he held my hand and my face. I gave it one last squeeze. Suddenly realizing there was so much I wanted to tell him. I needed to let him know.

I blinked very slowly and this time had to force my eyes back open. My lungs were taking shuddering breaths but nothing hurts anymore. No time left for many words. I want him to know what his friendship had meant to me, what our time on this earth together had meant to me. But those incredibly expressive brown eyes speak of everything I am feeling. His own words rambling now about partnership, best friends, strength and my being his brother. I couldn't hear them all now but they are already a part of who I am.

Then he said the words, since I couldn't any longer, "I love you Roy."

A smile comes on my lips as the darkness closes in around me. "love" I say back. I feel his arms wrap around me and his tears on my chest as I take my last breath and whisper to him.

Goodbye my friend.


End file.
